So last week Victor and Hailey and I went to socialize feral shelter kittens and the kittens were all like, “fuck you guys” and hid but there was this lanky, black teenage cat who was like, “PICK ME UP. LOVE ME. LET ME CRAWL INSIDE YOUR CARDIGAN.” I’ve never had a black cat before so Continue reading "Filling a void with a cuter void."

Here’s a bunch of stuff: I was just checking the mail and I heard a woman yell, “PUT YOUR POOPOO IN YOUR POCKET” and I kind of just froze because I don’t even know how to respond to that? It seems like an insult or a threat but turns out it was an elderly woman Continue reading "PUT YOUR POOPOO IN YOUR POCKET."

22 years ago today I was hooked up to a million monitors and thanking God for epidurals. I was so worried that they’d mix up our baby with someone else’s so as soon as I gave birth I told Victor, “FOLLOW THAT BABY” and he ran out of the room after them. And my heart Continue reading "Happy birthday, sweet Hailey."

Autocorrect on my text messages is making me look even more unhinged than normal lately, so if you ever feel bad about your texting issues, please enjoy these two examples from just the last week: What I thought I wrote: “I need to start being more kind to myself. I’ve been really getting down on Continue reading "Mortifying myself without even leaving the house"

If you follow me on instagram you may have already seen this, but just in case you don’t…Rolly has been having a really hard time with the new kitten (who is now larger than the dog and has no clue how strong he is, as he seems to be teething on everything and everyone). This Continue reading "Retirement home living but for cats"

This isn’t a real post…just a collection of stuff that doesn’t fit anywhere else. Purrsy Bysshe Shelley was not pleased with the lack of attention. Clearly. 2. YOU ARE HERE was out of print for a tiny bit because there was a bit of a run on it because people were giving it as a Continue reading "Housekeeping!"

I owe you an apology because I am very behind on writing my wrap-ups of what I’ve read lately but I’m coming out of a depression and my energy is slowly coming back. (If you’re a book club member you’re still getting all the emails and books and stuff on time thank goodness, but if Continue reading "Have you read these?"

If you’ve been here long enough you probably know that I’ve been doing an art substack where I share my strange doodles each week for years now (and I’m going to do at least one more year because I’m still loving it) but I decided to start a second one to share my very weird Continue reading "Come time-travel with me"

A week ago I was in Washington DC for the National Book Festival and I somehow got asked to be one of the five speakers at the opening ceremony in the actual Library of Congress. I suspected this was a mistake and this seemed even more obvious when I found out that the four other Continue reading "I spoke at the Library of Congress and I’m pretty sure they asked me as a mistake but I’m so glad the

My eyes have decided to stop working in low-light so I bought this necklace thing that has little flashlights at the end so I could use it for reading and doing art and last night I thought that it would probably also make a really good hands-free dog-walking light because I always walk in the Continue reading "Fire nipples"