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Not As We Planned

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New episodes every Thursday, with exclusive bonus episodes every Monday on Patreon. Welcome to Not As We Planned, the honest podcast about relationships, dating, marriage, divorce and motherhood, and all the things no one really talks about. From becoming a mum and navigating divorce, to rebuilding life as a single mum and dating again in your 30s, we’re sharing the real, messy and unexpected sides of it all. Life doesn’t always go to plan, and neither do relationships. This is a space for open conversations, shared experiences and saying the things most people avoid. If you have a question or want to share your story, email us at [email protected] Join Our Community Get our weekly BONUS episode: https://patreon.com/c/NotAsWePlanned Follow the Podcast: @notasweplanned_podcast Tash: @tash_blake_ivy Carly: @iamcarlyharris Get the Planner: https://notasweplanned.shop Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Latest episodes

I Found Out My Husband Had A 16-Year-Old Son I Knew NOTHING About

Imagine receiving a letter and discovering your husband has a 16-year-old son you knew absolutely nothing about. One listener had spent years believing his version of how a previous relationship ended, only for a child-support letter to reveal the truth. Now she’s trying to process the fact that her husband kept an entire child secret from her, while working out how they eventually tell their own

7 Oct 2026 · 41 min
I’m The Other Woman… And I’ve Fallen In Love With Him

One Bestie has a confession she never thought she’d be making: she’s the other woman. What started with a work colleague who has a long-term partner and two children has turned into a year-long affair, and now they’ve both admitted they have feelings for each other. She knows what they’re doing is wrong and desperately wants to end it, but there’s one major problem: she still has to see him at wor

30 Sep 2026 · 40 min
Carly Got A Nose Job… And She’s Finally Revealing Everything

Carly is back with a new nose! After years of feeling insecure about it, she finally flew to Turkey alone for the nose job she’d wanted for years. She opens up about why she decided to do it, the panic that hit before surgery, the mental battle during recovery and what it was really like seeing her new face for the first time. We also get very honest about the financial reality of becoming a singl

23 Sep 2026 · 1 h 4 min
I’d Just Given Birth When I Found THESE Messages On His Phone

Three weeks after giving birth, one Bestie woke in the middle of the night panicking that she’d missed an alarm to feed her newborn. She couldn’t find her own phone, so she picked up her husband’s to check the time… and messages from another woman appeared on the screen. She was still bleeding, wearing a postpartum nappy and caring for their two tiny children when she discovered her husband had be

16 Sep 2026 · 37 min
Carly’s Dating Update Just Took A VERY Weird Turn…

Carly thought she’d finally met someone who ticked all the boxes: great chemistry, great dates, hours spent talking on the phone and seemingly all the right things to say. Then she discovered he was sleeping with multiple women. But this week, the story takes an even stranger turn when she finds him back on Tinder… using a completely different name. Now she’s questioning whether she ever really kn

9 Sep 2026 · 44 min
Young Parents, 3 Million Followers And Life Behind The Kern Family

Eight months into their relationship, Charlotte found out she was pregnant at just 20 years old. From becoming young parents and figuring out their relationship along the way, to building a life online with an audience of over 3 million, this week we’re joined by Connor Kern and Charlotte Cucurnia from The Kern Family. We get into the reality behind the family you see online; becoming parents befo

2 Sep 2026 · 1 h 26 min
I Gave My Cheating Husband A Second Chance… 10 Years Later I Regret It

She discovered her husband was having an affair, chose to forgive him and spent the next 10 years rebuilding their marriage… only to find herself right back where she started. This week, we hear from a woman questioning whether she wasted a decade after discovering the red flags had returned — and the receipts she eventually found left very little to the imagination. Now single at 50, she’s trying

26 Aug 2026 · 40 min
My Boyfriend Faked Cancer While My Mum Was Dying

Imagine watching your mum die from cancer while the man you trust tells you his cancer has come back too… only to discover he made the whole thing up. This week we hear from a listener whose boyfriend lied about having cancer while her mum was terminally ill, before she discovered he had been cheating all along. We also hear from a woman who spent years trying to save her marriage through debt, li

19 Aug 2026 · 37 min
I Married The Wrong Person… But It Led Me To The Love Of My Life

What if your biggest heartbreak is actually the beginning of your happiest chapter? This week, we share some of the most uplifting listener stories we’ve ever received. From a woman whose husband left her for her friend before she unexpectedly found the love of her life, to a listener whose husband walked out just weeks after their wedding and during pregnancy, only for her to build the blended fa

12 Aug 2026 · 42 min
Hollie Dowding: Surviving Domestic Violence... How I Finally Sent My Abuser To Prison

When Hollie Dowding finally walked away from her abusive relationship, she never imagined the journey that would follow. In this powerful and emotional conversation, Hollie shares how coercive control, trauma bonding and domestic abuse slowly took over her life, why leaving wasn't as simple as "just walking away", and how she found the strength to fight for justice, ultimately seeing her abuser se

5 Aug 2026 · 1 h 13 min
My Husband Is The Perfect Dad… So Why Do I Think He’s Cheating?

A listener tells us about the growing feeling she can’t ignore… her husband seems like the perfect dad, but she’s convinced something isn’t right. Is she overthinking it, or are the signs pointing to something more? We unpack the story, share our honest advice, and discuss whether trust your instincts or give your partner the benefit of the doubt. Plus, we help a listener improve their dating prof

29 Jul 2026 · 36 min
I Finally Left My Toxic Relationship… So Why Do I Miss Him?

You finally leave the relationship everyone told you was toxic… so why do you still miss it? This week, we unpack a listener’s confession about leaving a toxic partner only to find herself missing the chaos she fought so hard to escape. We discuss why healthy relationships can sometimes feel “boring,” the psychology behind toxic attraction, and whether it’s possible to break the cycle for good. We

22 Jul 2026 · 41 min
Why So Many Boys Are Struggling Today & What Parents Can Do with Raising Boys 2 Men

Boys today are facing challenges that previous generations never had to navigate, but are we raising them in the right way? This week, we’re joined by Raising Boys 2 Men for an honest conversation about why so many boys are struggling, the impact of modern parenting, social media, positive male role models, and what parents can do to raise confident, emotionally resilient young men. We also discus

15 Jul 2026 · 1 h 14 min
My Best Friend Lied To Me For 10 Years…

What would you do if you found out your best friend had been lying to you for over a decade? In this episode, we unpack one listener’s shocking story, review another dating profile, help a man navigating struggles in his marriage, and talk about the common mistake people make by confusing emotional unavailability with chemistry. If you’ve ever questioned your relationships or your dating choices,

8 Jul 2026 · 43 min
He Faked Cancer While I Was Pregnant

She thought she’d finally found her happy ending. After blending their families and welcoming a new baby together, everything seemed perfect… until she discovered the man she loved had been living a shocking double life. This week, we read one of the most unbelievable stories we’ve ever received, hear from a listener trapped in a controlling relationship after 12 years together, and discuss why yo

1 Jul 2026 · 51 min
He Ghosted Me For 5 Weeks… Then Came Back Like Nothing Happened

He disappeared without a word for five weeks… then came back expecting another chance. This week, Carly opens up about the emotional reality of co-parenting, we help a listener decide whether she’s holding on to someone’s potential instead of who they really are, hear from a woman who discovered her partner’s affair while she was eight months pregnant, and ask one very satisfying question… what ha

24 Jun 2026 · 37 min
My Husband’s Entire Life Was A Lie

A listener discovers that her husband’s entire life was a lie. After 14 years together, two children and what seemed like the perfect marriage, one tiny clue unravels everything. We also hear about a disastrous date involving a murder trial, review another Hinge profile, and help a listener decide whether to break no contact with the woman he can’t stop thinking about. Get tickets for our tour: ht

17 Jun 2026 · 39 min
He Didn’t Forget My Birthday, He Ignored It

Tash opens up about her kids being around her boyfriend, the Snapchat message that wasn’t meant to be sent, when a break can help your relationship and the breadcrumbs that keep you there for too long Get tickets for our tour: https://www.aegpresents.co.uk/event/not-as-we-planned/ Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon : Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Aca

10 Jun 2026 · 44 min
He Left Me For a Man

Carly opens up about her grief, a story that will remind you that kids really do absorb the environment they are in and after 20 years together he left his wife for a man. Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon : Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

3 Jun 2026 · 38 min
Omg That’s NEW Information…I’m Terrified!!

You share the sluttiest things you’ve ever done, we give feedback on the first Hinge profile you’ve sent in, the separation after 20 years and the long-term emotional affair found out on Snapchat! Get tickets for our tour: https://www.aegpresents.co.uk/event/not-as-we-planned/ Watch the podcast on YouTube Get a weekly BONUS episode on Patreon : Join Our Community Instagram TikTok Hosted on Acast.

27 May 2026 · 47 min